Friday, May 28, 2010
In Memory of My Beloved Aunt.
Some of the most unforgettable days of our lives are the days when you really get to realize how much somebody mean to you only to know that they are not there for you anymore. This day is the day in your life you’ll never forget. We only truly value things and people when they are no more around because then we realize the vacuum that is left behind by that person are so unfillable. Things just don’t fit in then, it is then like the zig saw puzzle piece that you have lost forever, your life always remains incomplete no matter what ever you try to fill in that gap for there is only one such piece of puzzle in this entire world and you have just lost that one forever. And we are ready to do anything to bring that piece back if there was any such chance, even a chance of 10 to the power billions of a fraction you would still risk to take the chance to bring that person back.
One such moment was today in my life 29th May I lost too someone who was dearest to me though I never got the chance to articulate all the love I ever had for her. I had piled up words for her and made promises to myself within this innocent heart to always take care of things that I was entrusted though not officially. Today was the day I lost one of my beloved aunt and rather a mother……I cannot forget that day, it still clouds my heart when I remember of the atmosphere of the house in that small village in Kalimpong.
That was the day I made a promised not to let go things just for the mistakes me make, for mistakes can be corrected and habits adapted, but people lost cannot be brought back. On that day I truly understood what life is and how it hurts when we are left lonely. What hurts more is not the pain of the departure of that person but the pain of realization that they are gone forever never to be seen again…
As I sat in an old chair of that cold night in May 29 in that grief stricken house I started to miss the times I use to talk with her in the phone though not too often, even if it was just a, "hello and how are you?". I just cannot imagine how her families would ever have felt, the cries and the pain still echoes in my ears and it still gives me that pinch of unbearable pain. I remember the talking I did to my uncle days after the funeral outside the church and even now I can still remember the pain that was in his voice never to be healed again. For who can replace her in his life?..........……the vacuum is created forever!!!
Only Jesus can fill that vacuum, for only He has experienced what that worst of we have ever experienced. He knows what it means to be betrayed for few silver coins after all the love He gave, He knows how it feels to be denied three times the same night after loving the same guy for years, He knows what it means to be lonely, heart broken and forsaken, for that is how He exactly went to the cross of Calvary for us,for our sins for the love He had for us..........
Life surely is like a wild flower as Bible says; we bloom for a while and just fade away. I do have whys? of life to God about her death as I sit here today writing in memory of her but I can never question Him because I must remember that I am also only one of those wild flowers waiting for my turn to wither, He is the giver and taker we have no right to question Him, instead just thank Him that I have lived to see another day.
(In memory of my beloved aunt who probably is reading these lines for whom I could not do anything despite all the promises I made....)
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Wednesday, May 26, 2010
TRUE TESTIMONY.........read it and be blessed too.
It had been nearly weeks that I have been in my room all alone just speaking to myself and doing nothing like a lost pyramid in the vast desert of silent sand. For the past few days I have been going through deep abyss of some personal depressions. This blog of mine was created mostly for the God’s work hence the name “promises4today” but it has nearly been a week that it was not getting loaded in my notebook. I tried all my computer skills possible to get it working but to no avail; I even consulted some experts online but still no answer to the question.
But the amazing thing was that it was working fine in other machines, so we finally concluded that may be my internet service provider has blocked my domain in my service. So now if that was it what else could I do? I had no other options then to just wait till the time for the recharge for the voucher of the connection so at that time I can talk to agents there.
Today I was in the most deepest part of my personal depression,…for hours in my room all alone I was talking to God worshiping him with my guitar and praying and crying, pouring my pains, frustrations, gilts, repenting and humbling in front of Him and asking for a new hope in life. As I was praying I was crying uncontrollably and after long hours I was completely exhausted because I had not had a single grain of food the whole day even though I was not on fast. The spirit of the Lord came on me, I was feeling lighter a bit then, and certain happiness was ignited in me, I prayed and thanked God for this new state of ecstasy and I caught hold of my Bible, kneeled down and prayed with utmost sincerity, “Jesus speak to me through this Bible, communicate with me through it, give me revelations,........I thank you on behalf of all the generations that went by and that is yet to come for leaving this Bible for us, The Spiritual food, in Jesus name I pray, Amen.
This was the simple pray I prayed and I flipped the pages and suddenly I was directed to the book of Job chapter 42 verse 10-12. There God speaks to Job of He being pleased with Job and He restoring back all Job ever had in the multiplications. God spoke to me through these verses in many ways. I had never ever in my Bible study time had landed in the books of Job as much as I had in Psalms and other New Testaments books. The scriptures gave me hope that I was seeking for, by now I was praising God and giving Him thanks for speaking to me. I was so happy that I really wanted to share this testimony to any one possible, then suddenly I remember my blog, I thought I wish the blog was working in my notebook so that I could published it and people would be blessed too. Now the Spirit came and told me to do something you all won’t believe, It told me to pray! I quickly picked up my portable modem and put it between the pages of my Bible (I don’t know why I did that but The Spirit told me to do so) and I prayed loudly asking God to make the thing work with the blog so that I can share His glory with you all. As I prayed my faith got even stronger and by the time I said amen I was sure enough that my prayer was already answered. I quickly connected the modem and loaded my blog the first, and sure enough it got loaded. Yes dear readers it worked, miracle happened, my prayer was answered, He is indeed living. I was jumping with joy and gave thanks to the lord with songs as I caught hold of my guitar and played some praises. What was not working till an hour ago and weeks was now working fine with power of the Jesus. Nothing is impossible in Jesus.
This is a small testimony I wanted to share, in fact there are many and I’ll be sharing with you all one after another as the days to come. I just want to say that, yes Jesus is living and He alone is a prayer answering God. Trust in Him and you’ll surely not be disappointed…..He loves you all as much as He does to me and every Christians. He will answer your prayers too, all you need is that you surrender your lives to him and believe in Him.
God bless you all.
Ccir
(If you all also have such testimonies and want to share for the Glory of God please mail it to me at shy_rush22@yahoo.co.in I'll be happy to publish it. For now I want you all to click the Share button at top and share this testimony with your friends "Just A Click For Christ")
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